If you’re the kind of parent who let out a huge sigh of relief when school started back up, I see you!
And if you’re the parent who cried in your car after drop-off because you love having your babies home, I see you too!
And if you felt both at the same time? Yup, you’re also valid.
This time of year brings so many layers. It’s not just about new backpacks and first-day pics, it’s a full emotional experience, especially for those of us juggling parenting, work, and everything else. And for many families in this country, back to school also comes with a heavy, quiet fear that we shouldn’t have to carry.
Back-to-School Anxiety Is Real for Kids and Parents
Back-to-school anxiety doesn’t just show up in kids. We feel it as parents too.
There’s the logistics of routines, drop-offs, packing lunch, after-school plans…and then there’s the emotional weight. Will they make friends? Will they be safe? Will they get a kind teacher? Will they come home in one piece?
I hate that we have to say this, but we do: sending kids to school in this country feels dangerous.
We’re barely a few weeks into the school year, and there’s already been a school shooting. The fact that that sentence can be true is heartbreaking and infuriating.
And then there’s another kind of fear that rarely makes headlines, ICE.
For undocumented families, or those in mixed-status households, back-to-school season can trigger deep anxiety. Will there be raids near campus? Will enrollment data be misused? Is college even safe? Some parents hesitate to even register their children for fear of exposure. Some college students live in constant fear that pursuing an education could make them vulnerable to detention or deportation.
It’s a level of stress no family should have to carry just to access education.
These fears are not irrational, they’re real. And they’re built into a system that was never designed to protect or prioritize our communities. If this is part of your reality, please know: you are not alone. And your fear is not weakness!
This Season Might Be Bringing Stuff Up, and That’s Okay
For some of us, back to school is a trigger. Maybe school wasn’t a safe or affirming place growing up. Maybe you didn’t feel seen. Maybe this season brings financial pressure, cultural tension, or grief.
This is a time to return to your grounding tools, your micro-communities, and your breath. You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to keep showing up with honesty, love, and care.
Gentle Reminders for This Season
- If you need to cry, cry. If you need to celebrate, celebrate. If you need to do both, do both.
- You’re allowed to feel fear. It doesn’t make you negative.
- You don’t need to be a “perfect parent.” You just need to be present, real, and responsive.
- Don’t forget about yourself in the rush of the school year starting. Your wellness matters too.
Final Thoughts
Back to school isn’t just about school supplies and outfits. It’s about holding the emotional complexity of parenting and surviving in a country where safety is never guaranteed, especially for Black, Brown, undocumented, queer, disabled, or low-income families.
It’s also about navigating a world where our kids face lockdown drills, racial bias, underfunded classrooms, and for some, dealing with ICE bullshit.
Let’s stop pretending this season is simple. If this season feels heavy, you are not alone. Take a moment to check in with yourself:
- What does safety look like for me and my family right now?
- What rhythms or routines might help me feel more grounded this week?
- How can I soften my expectations, of myself and others, just a little?
And if you’re feeling powerless, please know that even small acts matter. We may not be able to fix these systems overnight, but we can build micro-communities of care, speak up in our schools, organize around safety, and support policies that protect our children and our neighbors.
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