There is a story many of us were raised with, sometimes explicitly, sometimes quietly, that our worth is measured by how much we give. Our time, our energy, our emotional labor. For women, this expectation is already heavy. For Latinas, it is deeply cultural.
Marianismo teaches us that we are good when we are self-sacrificing, nurturing, and endlessly available. We are praised for putting others first, for doing things “from the heart,” and for enduring exhaustion with grace. Over time, this becomes so normalized that it stops being recognized as labor at all. You’re just expected to do it!
That expectation doesn’t stay confined to family or personal relationships. It follows us into professional spaces, where it quietly shapes how our work is valued or dismissed.
When Admiration Turns Into Entitlement
People are often enthusiastic about my degrees, my expertise, and my passion for working with youth and with my community. They tell me they are inspired. That they’ve been “looking for someone like me.” That my work is important and needed.
Then comes the invitation: a speaking engagement, a training, a consultation, a retreat, a coaching opportunity.
I respond clearly and professionally, asking about scope and budget. And that’s usually when I get CRICKETS. The silence tells me everything I need to know. They weren’t actually asking about collaboration. They were assuming my labor would be donated because the work is meaningful, because it serves marginalized communities, because I care.
As if caring cancels out the cost of my time. OR As if my expertise appeared without years of education, training, and experience. Apparently my bills don’t count because the work is “for the community.”
The Moment Charging Becomes a Problem
Other times, I do name my rates, and the response is no longer silence, it’s judgment.
I’ve been told my prices are “wild.” That they’re “a lot.” That I should think more about accessibility. The implication is clear: charging what I charge is somehow inappropriate, excessive, or unethical.
What’s striking is how rarely this critique is directed at men offering similar services. Especially white men. Somehow, when Latinas charge appropriately for highly skilled, specialized work, it becomes a moral issue rather than a business decision.
Our labor is celebrated until we put a price on it. Then we’re expected to justify ourselves.
Knowing Your Worth Is Work, Too
It took me years, not just to gain the knowledge I have, but to fully believe that I am worth being paid for it. That my time, my energy, and my education have value regardless of who benefits from the work.
I still choose to do some things for free. But it is now a conscious choice, not an expectation imposed on me. I limit those engagements because the need is endless and I am not.
I have responsibilities. I have children that I still need to finish getting through college. I have a body and nervous system that cannot survive on passion alone. Sustainability is necessary.
A Responsibility We Share
This isn’t only about those offering services. It’s also about those consuming them.
We all need to examine how unconscious bias shows up when we encounter pricing from Latina women. Before labeling something as unreasonable or excessive, it’s worth asking where that reaction comes from. Why does community-based work feel synonymous with free? Why does cultural expertise get treated as a hobby instead of a profession?
Accessibility matters, but it cannot be built on the exploitation of marginalized women’s labor.
A Final Truth
Latinas are not here to martyr ourselves for everyone else’s growth. We are allowed to care deeply and still expect fair compensation. We are allowed to be committed to our communities and committed to our own survival.
No one else gets to decide the value of your time, your energy, or your work.
You don’t owe anyone your labor just because you care.
Love this. Thank you.
Very well said! Thank you