“You’re too much.”
Too emotional.
Too intense.
Too ambitious.
Too busy.
Too direct.
Too everything.
Sound familiar?
I heard versions of this my whole life! Growing up, especially with undiagnosed ADHD, I was constantly trying to tone myself down. I asked too many questions. Had too many feelings. Dreamed too big. Started too many projects. Wanted too much. And for a long time, I believed that was a problem.
Even now, after years of unlearning and healing, that message creeps in.
When I started my PhD program, someone told me, “You don’t need that for your career.”
When I launched my business, I heard, “Wow, I could never do all that.”
When I talk about writing a book, starting a podcast, or launching new offerings, I still get those subtle looks or side comments that basically say: You’re doing too much.
Not everyone, of course. I’ve also been cheered on and deeply supported by many, especially by people who recognize the hustle because they live it too. But the message still hangs in the air sometimes. And I see it show up in my clients, especially my neurodivergent ones.
So many of us have internalized the belief that wanting more is selfish. That having big ideas is unrealistic and that being expressive is a weakness. That if you can’t be quiet, neat, and linear, then you must be broken.
But here’s what I know now: “Too much” is often code for “you make me uncomfortable because you challenge the norm.”
And to that, I say: good.
Our Fire Is Not a Flaw
There’s a reason so many ADHD women are driven, creative, and, yes, sometimes chaotic. We’re wired for ideas. We feel deeply. We care A LOT. And when we see a gap, we want to fill it. We want to fix it. We want to build something better.
Does it mean we sometimes take on too much? Yep.
Do we sometimes overcommit or get distracted? Also yes.
Have I burned out before? Absolutely.
But I’ve learned from every “too much” moment. I’ve grown through every passion project, every pivot, every failure, and every late-night idea that didn’t quite make it off the ground. I don’t regret trying…I regret the times I stayed small out of fear.
And I’m not even done yet.
I want to write a book.
Start a YouTube channel.
Create more businesses.
Speak more. Teach more. Build more.
More. That’s not a flaw!
You’re Not Too Much! You’ve Just Outgrown What Doesn’t Fit
If you’ve ever been told you’re “too much,” maybe it’s because you’ve outgrown the room you’re in. Maybe your ideas, your passion, or your truth feel threatening to people who benefit from you staying quiet, small, or predictable.
And maybe, just maybe, “too much” is exactly what this world needs more of, especially from people who were never meant to take up space in the first place.
So this is your reminder:
- You don’t have to shrink to be accepted.
- You don’t have to slow down just to make others comfortable.
- You don’t have to justify your joy, your drive, your ambition, or your fire.
Keep dreaming. Keep building. Keep being “too much.”
Because the life you’re creating is yours. And you don’t need permission to live it fully.
If this post resonates with you, you’re not alone. I write about mental health, cultural identity, neurodivergence, and healing through a Chicana lens, because our stories deserve to be told with honesty and depth.
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